The second month

We are now in our second month of no support (child or spousal) from Tab, he has missed two payments. I don’t understand how or why this is allowed to happen, but it seems that it is.

This is seriously the only responsibility he has left to the family he no longer wanted to be  part of, and these payments are court ordered. To say he’s a disappointment is an understatement.

I have no idea where money is going to come from, we are living on kindness and air at the moment as I figure out what the next step will be for my family. Obviously I have spent too long looking for support (of any kind) from a man who has shown me time and time again that he is not capable of support of any sort.

This situation has strengthened my connection with God as I have seen no other option but to pray for some kind of miracle. The kids need to be fed, they have to get to school, they are enrolled in activities, we have a life here that we have created and we need to live it. Somehow I have to find faith that all the money issues will fall into place.

It is just one more way for him to try and control me and to make me feel fearful and intimidated. He almost destroyed me with that when I lived with him and there is no way I’m giving my power to him so that he can do it again.

I think he forgets (or does not care) that the kids are involved in this attack of his as well. My kids are my love, my life, and always my number one priority. It blows me away that not only does he not know them, but he won’t help support them. What kind of a man does that?

I feel like the Whos in Whoville after the Grinch stole Christmas. He may be trying to take away all of our things, but our love and our faith remains. We stand together, united and strong. And it will all work out in the end – this is just an in between time.